Well not weird... But I dont like it, for some strange reason. I went to community service and in less then an hour of being there, I was hit on by both my manager and a customer. Both I am neither attracted too, but the customer is apparently a regular, so I expect more. Geez... And then at the Cheesecake Factory tonight, our waitress hit on me, not once, not twice, but 3 times... And gave me free alcohol. wtf. I was mighty happy, but felt dirty at the same time. Like do I just give off this vibe of wanting to just fuck whereever I am, no matter who Im with?
Maybe Im just in love with the thought of being in love. Because being in love is way better then just thinking about being in love. Am I in love? Yes... But the question is with whom. Myself? The woman who eludes me? The attention I get from women in general? Or simply just the thought of being in love? Idk... Well, I do. But Im on some "Girl, Interupted" shit... Cuz "Ill never tell-lll" lol.
Peach Redddddddddddd... Is mad nasty this time around. But I have absolutely nowhere to go in such harsh weather 2morrow. MAD LEFTOVERS. Fried chicken. Shepard's pie. Greens n beans(which is escarole, cannelini beans and italian sausage). hamburgers. And peach nasty ass red. Im neva buyin this shit again. yuck. but whateva... Im goin back to my bed... "They callin me" lol.
Richard Dreyfus... blahhhhhhhhhh went the lion
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
she rockin that thang like...
Girl, Im in love with you, baby, and I wanted to know/If you'd be my main course, cuz I dont want you to go/...
Thats my own version lol. The original lyrics to that song are "Girl I'm in love with you baby.And I want you to know.That I'm hooked on your body.And I'm trying to be your's."...
I tried to write my own version, but got tired lol. I just like that part that I made and the hook. Im sittin here listenin to mad, ummm mood music I guess. Plus this top-shelf is uber. Its makin my stomach rumble like crazy tho, but whateva. I felt like vibin for a minute, and I didnt feel like talkin on the phone anymore... By the by... I ABSOLUTELY HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. Like why the fuck are you calling me to hear me breathe!? Get a life! Or go hear some other breathing technique. So annoying. "Get in, get out, thats an OG classic"... Meanin, say what you have to then get the eff of my jack. People wonder why I dont call, its because you have nothing to say or at least nothing I wanna hear. I only call people I enjoy talking too, or for business. Other then that, my phone is annoying.Anyway, I overhear my sister's computer upstairs playing "Lions, Tigers, and Bears"... So Im gonna go listen to it as well. I freakin love that shit. I start community service today. I wonder how it will be. Im not gettin dressed up, cuz that attracts all the wrong attention and I dont want any anyway. I just wanna serve my time then get the fuck out.I wish I lived by myself. Or at least had my own place. Like seriously... I think Im a huge freak, like deep down inside. Cuz Im open to trying new shit, just no gay stuff. I love only ladies. And I dont want any girl or body for that matter comin near my asshole lmao. NOW THATS NASTY lol. Its crazy cuz Im dead ass serious... No girl will ever leave me because she isnt satisfied behind closed doors. If she does, she isnt the type of lady I want anyway. I havent even done it all, but Ive done a lot. I am a sexual being. I can not help it. I LOVE sex. I think my parents had to be huge ass freaks back when they were doin the do, cuz I love it way more then most people. I love watching it, doing it, learning it... Whatever. Im trying to tone done my talk about it beyond closed doors, but its a process. Whateva, I lost my point for a minute lol. My whole point with wanting a place of my own, is because some nights... Even though Im always in the mood to do it, I just wanna lay up next to the one I love. Not even have sex. Just lay there, holding her. The warm embrace that you can get off of another human being, during that point, is sometimes the most comforting thing in the world.
Just to be able to kiss the forehead, then hold onto the person your in love with like this will be yall last night together, everynight... Is something I wish I could do. I envy people in successful relationships. Not jealous. Just envious. Having someone to hold when the nights are cold, pressing up against their body. Arms wrapped around them. Smelling the sweet, delicious scent coming from their hair and body wash. Caressing their soft skin. Just loving without doing anything. Touch has to be my best sense, next to sight. Fuck that, taste as well. I LOVE THE TASTE lmao. But whateva... I just wish I had that. Wish I could do that. Sometimes, I dont wanna lay in my twin by myself. Like tonight... oh well...
side note... Pooh, I cant recall ya friend's name from the night we all went to the beach right now, but I started listenin to Wale. And I like what I hear. I kno u told me about him as well, but still... I just remember ya homeboy tellin me some shit about him as well.
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion
Thats my own version lol. The original lyrics to that song are "Girl I'm in love with you baby.And I want you to know.That I'm hooked on your body.And I'm trying to be your's."...
I tried to write my own version, but got tired lol. I just like that part that I made and the hook. Im sittin here listenin to mad, ummm mood music I guess. Plus this top-shelf is uber. Its makin my stomach rumble like crazy tho, but whateva. I felt like vibin for a minute, and I didnt feel like talkin on the phone anymore... By the by... I ABSOLUTELY HATE TALKING ON THE PHONE TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT. Like why the fuck are you calling me to hear me breathe!? Get a life! Or go hear some other breathing technique. So annoying. "Get in, get out, thats an OG classic"... Meanin, say what you have to then get the eff of my jack. People wonder why I dont call, its because you have nothing to say or at least nothing I wanna hear. I only call people I enjoy talking too, or for business. Other then that, my phone is annoying.Anyway, I overhear my sister's computer upstairs playing "Lions, Tigers, and Bears"... So Im gonna go listen to it as well. I freakin love that shit. I start community service today. I wonder how it will be. Im not gettin dressed up, cuz that attracts all the wrong attention and I dont want any anyway. I just wanna serve my time then get the fuck out.I wish I lived by myself. Or at least had my own place. Like seriously... I think Im a huge freak, like deep down inside. Cuz Im open to trying new shit, just no gay stuff. I love only ladies. And I dont want any girl or body for that matter comin near my asshole lmao. NOW THATS NASTY lol. Its crazy cuz Im dead ass serious... No girl will ever leave me because she isnt satisfied behind closed doors. If she does, she isnt the type of lady I want anyway. I havent even done it all, but Ive done a lot. I am a sexual being. I can not help it. I LOVE sex. I think my parents had to be huge ass freaks back when they were doin the do, cuz I love it way more then most people. I love watching it, doing it, learning it... Whatever. Im trying to tone done my talk about it beyond closed doors, but its a process. Whateva, I lost my point for a minute lol. My whole point with wanting a place of my own, is because some nights... Even though Im always in the mood to do it, I just wanna lay up next to the one I love. Not even have sex. Just lay there, holding her. The warm embrace that you can get off of another human being, during that point, is sometimes the most comforting thing in the world.
Just to be able to kiss the forehead, then hold onto the person your in love with like this will be yall last night together, everynight... Is something I wish I could do. I envy people in successful relationships. Not jealous. Just envious. Having someone to hold when the nights are cold, pressing up against their body. Arms wrapped around them. Smelling the sweet, delicious scent coming from their hair and body wash. Caressing their soft skin. Just loving without doing anything. Touch has to be my best sense, next to sight. Fuck that, taste as well. I LOVE THE TASTE lmao. But whateva... I just wish I had that. Wish I could do that. Sometimes, I dont wanna lay in my twin by myself. Like tonight... oh well...
side note... Pooh, I cant recall ya friend's name from the night we all went to the beach right now, but I started listenin to Wale. And I like what I hear. I kno u told me about him as well, but still... I just remember ya homeboy tellin me some shit about him as well.
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Good times
So today, while at work... My co-workers and I had a huge discussion about weed. I dont consider myself an expert at all, I just smoke whats passed to me. One dude said... "Man, u gotta smoke if you goin work here. This place will drive you crazy!"... That nigga is 45. I love old heads lol. Listenin to these grown ass men, have a huge discussion in the open, clear as day was the best. And it made me reminisce... Is that spelled right? I dont feel like checking. Anyway, I miss those times where I was legally able to do such illegal activities. Now because of probation, I have to be more mindful of my actions. But fuck it... I miss those times when dollface and me would chill and smoke right after both of us got outta work. Like seriously... We would smoke, then go watch an episode of "Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia", then go get Fatone(lol) then come back, find food, and watch yet another episode of what has to be the funniest show in the world... At least to us. Ive showed that show to a dozen other people, and they just dont laugh like she does. I miss that... I cant watch for the next season. Its like the grilled shrimp of TV to me. I loveeeeeeeeeeeee grilled shrimp. Fuck it, I just love shrimp.
Anyway, back to the store... I remember this one time, at band camp... lmao. I had too lol. But seriously, i remember this one time where we had "Hindu Kush" with maple flavored Kingpins... awwwwwwwww the best. I had the taste of maple syrup in my mouth for hours, I wanted waffles soooooo bad. My love affair with smoking doesnt compare to the one I have with drinking, but hopefully... I can quit that relationship. Moving on... I miss the times where we would wait until Fatone went to sleep just to sneak outside and sit in the car, late as fuck, just to smoke. Even though I had to be to work in the mornin, I didnt care. I was enjoying both myself and the company I had. I dont give an eff yo... When season 5 comes back on, I am lighting up in celebration lol. I effin love that show. Damn, my job sucks. But the pay is good, and so are the people I work with. If only they offered better hours, then Id be golden lol. I heard that I got a raise while I was away. I have to wait for my next paystub to confirm it tho lol
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion
Anyway, back to the store... I remember this one time, at band camp... lmao. I had too lol. But seriously, i remember this one time where we had "Hindu Kush" with maple flavored Kingpins... awwwwwwwww the best. I had the taste of maple syrup in my mouth for hours, I wanted waffles soooooo bad. My love affair with smoking doesnt compare to the one I have with drinking, but hopefully... I can quit that relationship. Moving on... I miss the times where we would wait until Fatone went to sleep just to sneak outside and sit in the car, late as fuck, just to smoke. Even though I had to be to work in the mornin, I didnt care. I was enjoying both myself and the company I had. I dont give an eff yo... When season 5 comes back on, I am lighting up in celebration lol. I effin love that show. Damn, my job sucks. But the pay is good, and so are the people I work with. If only they offered better hours, then Id be golden lol. I heard that I got a raise while I was away. I have to wait for my next paystub to confirm it tho lol
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Old School
I write poetry. Well nowhere near as often as I used to. But still, I write poetry. One of the things I feel Im good at. So anyway, I was just going through my archive of old poems and went through the unfiled section. Cuz I have finished work, then unfiled... But anyway, Im not goin to post the entire thing because it has 8 parts lol. The funny shit is, this is "Truth Is... Pt.2". So there was a 1st lol. I got work for days... Damn shame. My best work is fueled by emotions and truth. And once I get going, I tend to just keep going. I wrote this back in like '06 lol, I remember this shit cuz it was around the time my pops had his stroke and I was going through a lot. I know why this one was in the "unfiled" section, because I sorta just tapped out half way through the 8th part... Anyway, Im only going to post 2 and 3. I think I may have posted them before, but Im not sure anymore. Well, do what you will.
"Truth Is... Pt.2"
Act 2 : Try to keep my composure as I squabble with this poser/Starin at a poster I try to reach some closure/A man calling himself my father, but he's a coward/Like a virgin deflowered our relationship has scoured/Watered down then grew sour, with every passing hour/I lose more power... Power to restrain myself/What makes it harder is I dont blame myself/Try to regain myself/As I abstain from help/And the pain Ive felt/The stroke came about and my tears came out/Supposed to be strong and the bitch rang out/Doc said he needed surgery certainly and my emotions started jerkin me/Gave two options in case of emergency, option 1 was a certainty/Tried to hold fast despite our cold past/Choose not to quarrel unless Im told trash/But lately all he says is bull, and I want to just pull...Away from the things he will say to urk my nerves today/Words to sway of off wordplay, if you observe his taunt/For a non-athletic diabetic, the nerve he'll flaunt/Truth is... If he wasnt my father, Id kick his ass/Learn him a thing or two, very quick to class/Cuz he's too sick with sass/And Ill put a brick through his glass/Causing me to move, cant live here anymore/ Fuck tears further more/He puts a rumble in my belly, when normally Im humble and steady/All love aside, I cant stand this cynical judge/Im done with him, Ive reached the pinnacle of this grudge/...
Act 3 : Life is running in place, Im stuck in purgatory/Sometimes I feel there isnt a chance of purge for me/Trapped in a mellow ghetto, but Im on the verge homey/Of a surge homey, so please when I emerge hold me/Console me, tell me these nights arent cold, B/Just lie to my face, as I shutter from your embrace/Sigh like amazing grace, as I mutter to the base/Theres a stutter when I utter as I attempt to gain space/Again in the same place, where I went insane, Ace/Left in a slump on a road with more then a bump/But its next to a cliff, and I wonder to jump/It pains to be humble when to survive you gotta struggle/I try not to stumble while with good and evil I juggle/Just pieces to the puzzle, thats why I cant guzzle/Greed is death, so it makes it hard to nuzzle/Especially when Im in the hustle and hear "dont move a muscle"/So now Ive gotta bustle just to avoid a tussle/Pace is to fast at a 100 miles and running/Happiness comes with fake smiles and shunning/Sunshine peaks through the cracks of my unstained mind/Far from perfection, though the tracks are a mundane find/
Its crazy, cuz I wrote that in '06 and still can relate to some of that. Most of it actually. Damn, I dont know if thats good or bad. Geez louise...
Here is a quote from the movie, "Heat" starring Al Pacino and Robert Deniro...
"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." Just more true shit... blahhhhhhhhhhh went the lion
"Truth Is... Pt.2"
Act 2 : Try to keep my composure as I squabble with this poser/Starin at a poster I try to reach some closure/A man calling himself my father, but he's a coward/Like a virgin deflowered our relationship has scoured/Watered down then grew sour, with every passing hour/I lose more power... Power to restrain myself/What makes it harder is I dont blame myself/Try to regain myself/As I abstain from help/And the pain Ive felt/The stroke came about and my tears came out/Supposed to be strong and the bitch rang out/Doc said he needed surgery certainly and my emotions started jerkin me/Gave two options in case of emergency, option 1 was a certainty/Tried to hold fast despite our cold past/Choose not to quarrel unless Im told trash/But lately all he says is bull, and I want to just pull...Away from the things he will say to urk my nerves today/Words to sway of off wordplay, if you observe his taunt/For a non-athletic diabetic, the nerve he'll flaunt/Truth is... If he wasnt my father, Id kick his ass/Learn him a thing or two, very quick to class/Cuz he's too sick with sass/And Ill put a brick through his glass/Causing me to move, cant live here anymore/ Fuck tears further more/He puts a rumble in my belly, when normally Im humble and steady/All love aside, I cant stand this cynical judge/Im done with him, Ive reached the pinnacle of this grudge/...
Act 3 : Life is running in place, Im stuck in purgatory/Sometimes I feel there isnt a chance of purge for me/Trapped in a mellow ghetto, but Im on the verge homey/Of a surge homey, so please when I emerge hold me/Console me, tell me these nights arent cold, B/Just lie to my face, as I shutter from your embrace/Sigh like amazing grace, as I mutter to the base/Theres a stutter when I utter as I attempt to gain space/Again in the same place, where I went insane, Ace/Left in a slump on a road with more then a bump/But its next to a cliff, and I wonder to jump/It pains to be humble when to survive you gotta struggle/I try not to stumble while with good and evil I juggle/Just pieces to the puzzle, thats why I cant guzzle/Greed is death, so it makes it hard to nuzzle/Especially when Im in the hustle and hear "dont move a muscle"/So now Ive gotta bustle just to avoid a tussle/Pace is to fast at a 100 miles and running/Happiness comes with fake smiles and shunning/Sunshine peaks through the cracks of my unstained mind/Far from perfection, though the tracks are a mundane find/
Its crazy, cuz I wrote that in '06 and still can relate to some of that. Most of it actually. Damn, I dont know if thats good or bad. Geez louise...
Here is a quote from the movie, "Heat" starring Al Pacino and Robert Deniro...
"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." Just more true shit... blahhhhhhhhhhh went the lion
Never planned 2 fail, just failed 2 plan...
True shit... Sometimes, things came at you like a ton of bricks that you werent expecting. And you can choose to ignore it and push it off until later, or deal with it now. Cuz in reality, ignoring your problems wont make them go away. Your just delaying the inevitable. As I sit here, eating some ramen noodles with some water... I cant help but to think about some shit that going on in my life... Even though, this is my blog, I dont care to speak on it right now. Its like 4 in the mornin lol. Im not tired, just hungry. Plus, Im being rude. I paused a phone call for this, idk why. A really random ass phone call, from a really random ass person that I really dont wanna really random ass speak to right now. The last muhfucka that called me at 3 in the mornin got hung up on lol. But blah whateva... Im turnin my pager on, so this will never happen again. Why didnt this asshole have the courtesy to just simply text me beforehand lol. Luckily, I was still up cuz I just left Nasty's house like 30 somethin minutes ago. BTW, Resident Evil 5 is "dutty" lmao. I gotta get a 360. And I won a $5 bet tonight, so Im $5 richer lol. But whateva... blahhhhhhhhh went the lion.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
"The Spirit"
Was a good ass movie... If u like Sin City, I recommend it... I loved it. Funny and action. All I love... And also... Lately, I have been the biggest X-Men fiend. I absolutely love the animated series. Cant stop watchin it. Ask my sister lol. I watch like 3 a day. But I want the dvd boxset, which I cant seem to find sadly... So if anyone can find it then buy it for me, I will gladly be there slave for as long as it takes me to watch every single episode(76 in total I believe)... But trust me, that will prolly be watched in like a day or two at the most. When X-Men: the animated series is on... Nothing else matters lol. Im talkin the original one from the 90's. Not all that evolution crapola. Eww... The imitators disgust me. And I will not watch them if they are brought to me. Im sorry. Call me rude, but NO. I hate it lol.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Popped Water Bottles
I finally went to Venu... And I absolutely love that place. The only time Liquid will ever see me again is Thursday nights(if ever) cuz I get in free lol. But if I gotta pay to get into a club, Im at Venu. Plus, I like... No, love gettin dressed up. I didnt take any pictures of myself, but folk took a lotta pics of me. They'll show up on facebook eventually. But whateva... Im switchin up my whole style, simply based on what I saw last night. Mattas fact, I dont even think I have "style", I just make things look good lol. Needless to say, I enjoyed my New Years... Despite one incident that I dont care to mention. But honestly, some people need to mind their own business. I dont really have much else to say. I try to be nice and it doesnt work. So fuck it... I dont want ANY of my exes. Been there, done that. The only lady from my past I care about is still in my present and will hopefully one day be my future. I cant stand her ass, but I do love her. Such complex simplicity. She erks the hell outta me. But I find myself still wanting more. FUCK. I am at war with myself.
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