Just 33 facts about me...

1. I dont have a set type when it comes to women. I just love women. I feel that they are God's greatest creation. Even with all the emotions and craziness that comes with them.
2. I procrastinate like crazy and I hate it.
3. I am very observant when it comes to people... Especially when Im around them a lot.
4. Im a friggin whorebag for music. I love it all. Music makes me feel better, and helps me get through my day.
5. I feel like life is too short to grudge. So I dont. If someone dislikes me, then tell me. Not saying that I care to resolve the issue, because IMA BE GOOD REGARDLESS lol. But if they want to talk about their sour feelings instead of badmouthin me behind my back, then Im all for that.
6. People hate to love me, and love to hate me.
7. I hate falling in love... But it keeps happening. I think Im just in love with the thought of being in love. Im envious not jealous of couples with successful relationships lol.
8. I want to get married soon. And I want a whole boatload of kids... 9 to be exact. I love kids.
9. When Im good at things, I like to do them all the time. Which is why I like to have sex a lot lol.
10. I think Joe Budden is the best rapper alive, Jay-Z is the greatest. Point, blank, period.
11. I have an abundance of clothes, but like to wear the same shit a lot. I dont consider myself fly nor a baller. I just enjoy buying new clothes and not wearing them. "Spent a hundred bucks on this, just to be like 'Nigga u aint up on this'" lol
12. Im a very complex individual, but at the same time, very simple...
13. I HATE FEET. I would never approach a chick in flip-flops... Unless Im dumb drunk lol. Im slowly getting over my phobia of feet though. Its more like a thing of getting used to them when you see them all the time.
14. I have 6 tattoos so far. I plan on getting my whole upper body covered over time. Which is why Im working out now, because I already am VERY comfortable in my wifebeater, I just want to be comfy takin my shirt off at anytime to show off my tats lol.
15. I LOVE BOOTS. Yeah, I have a lot of sneakers but I wouldnt consider myself a "sneakerhead"... Ima leave that to Pooh.
16. I absolutely love chicks in heels. More pump then stiletto tho unless she got some pretty feet and her toes done. BTW, JUST CUZ YOUR TOES ARE DONE DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE PRETTY FEET.
17. Im a momma's boy. But I dont want my wife to remind me of her, I want her to be her own person.
18. Im not the jealous type, because I feel like somebody else will come along. Yes, that thought process is very wrong. But Im not gonna fight over any girl, I could love her to death and still just let her walk away. UNLESS, we are married. Then Im going to do everything I can to keep her with me. But otherwise, if she want that new dick, go get it ma. Do you, cuz Ima damn sure do me.
19. I write bomb ass poetry but cant rap for shit lol.
20. I am a Tennesee Titans fan... Yes, I was very hurt this year. Built me up just to knock me over. Damn you, Fisher!
21. I think that "Its Always Sunny In Philadelphia" is the funniest show on TV. Then "Flight of the Conchords"... With that said, the only person who I enjoy watching either of these shows with is Rachel.
22. With that said, the funniest person I know is Rachel. Not my sister lol.
23. And with that said, when I get my "Rachel" tattoo, its for my sister. Not my bf lol.
24. I own a lot of fitteds. I only wear like 3 though because I dont have anything else to wear with the others lol. So I keep them locked in the attic, in a safe for storage.
25. I drink. You all know that. I smoke every now and then, but its kinda hard now due a situation of mine lol.
26. I only say Im the shit, because Im no man's shit-stain... I think very highly of myself and I believe everyone should.
27. My honesty is sometimes a burden. It brings more drama then a lie would. If I could just lie more often, then things would be better lol.
28. I can be your best friend and your worst enemy.
29. I lost my virginity to a big girl. So I have always dug them more then skinny bitches. Like I stated before, I dont have a set type. But Id prefer a girl with meat on her bones then a skinny girl. I like em thick lol.
30. Im a sucka for a pair of sexyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy ass LIPS.
31. I love women in sleep pants or sweatpants. Especially those Vicky secret joints wit "Pink" on the ass. The best.
32. I love accents. Or better yet, things about a woman's speech that make her standout. Like lisps as well lol.
33. Yeah, by some folks standards... I am considered a "hoe". But I do truly believe in monogamy. Its just that while I love being in a relationship, I love being single just as much. DAMN it. Conflicts of the heart...

First, last...

So while you distance yourself from me, I realize more and more why Im alone in the first place. I feel as though Im very authentic in my feelings towards people. Some way more then others. I dont care about many people, and its weird because the ones who I actually do care for only call when something is needed from me. But no longer will I be available. When it rains, it pours... And when Im up, seems like everybody benefits. When Im down, aint nobody around. So... Like I said before, Im learning to be content with being by just myself. Maybe its my fault in the first place, cuz I hate asking people for help for the most part. Every now and then, I suck up my pride and seek help. But the other times, I just keep my shit to myself. There lies the problem I guess. But blah... Pops always told me, "speak when your spoken to, come when your called"... So thats the shit Im on now. I dont have much to say anymore, so I dont want to call and waste anyone's time. Ill just wait until they call, my number hasnt changed. My address hasnt changed. Everybody knows I cant drive right now, so Im just in the house doing shit. I go to work, come home, workout inside the house, and go to sleep to do the same routine. Am I upset by that routine? Not at all... Anymore. Because it keeps me out of trouble and away from wishy washy characters. Saves me money. I havent gotten a haircut in weeks because aint nobody to impress. I dont give a fuck about girls. Just useless to me right now. My hand does the job. When I get my shit together, I might go fishing again. Until then, I have no need for a girlfriend. I used to want to have somebody to hold, but that feeling has subsided... Greatly. When Im ready for a girl, somebody will be there. Well, I gotta go do some more crunches before bed. Night...

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

Clearer View...

Quote of the week: "I love everybody, dont ask bout who I beef wit/They burned the bridge, but they was standin underneath it/Im on my grind, benjamin huntin/Was old since I was young, call me 'Benjamin Button'/And stop usin slang, jus for u to be cool/Cuz Ill go back to when it was cool to be you/Im a hero/No I mean, Im Hero, from 'Heros'/Dark-shade zeros/Muhfucka I jus got finished hatin me, feelin like a zero/They play Deniro/Never been there tho/So before your next thought, understand/No, its much more to me than a man/Either that, or move on..." - Joe Budden, "Move On"

Man... So, Im making changes in my life. Im going to get fit this year. Im very proud of myself so far, because Ive managed to do 100 push-ups each day for the last 3 days. Coming from a nigga who dont do push-ups, Im happy. Im going to try and maintain that pace until I feel like Im ready for more. That will hopefully rid me of these man-boobs. One of the only things I dislike about my body. So Im going to pause on getting my chest tatted until I see some results there. Another thing, I am now in grind mode. Like for real for real. Im going to TRY and stay away from clubs and parties until at least April. Because there is nothing there except bitches and trouble. Right now, I need neither. I am learning to be content with just being by myself. I miss not being able to drive. I remember when I used to get down, I would just hop in Ethel and pop in a cd, more then likely Mood Muzik 2 or 3. I would just ride around the 19th ward aka the only westside. Every now and then, I would venture out and go to the east side. But I hate that area. Prolly cuz I dont know shit. But whateva...

I am going to refrain from getting a haircut until my taxes come back. Maybe longer. Thats a part of grind mode. I want to change my look, and my lifestyle. Im preparing for my move. I have to pick a destination. I want to just go and start over. Be stared at because Im a new face. Have people judge me because I am new. And hopefully change their perception of me once we finally meet. I cant do that here. Because for some reason, "once a hoe, always a hoe". I guess. Im tired of trying to change everyone's view of me. Fuck it. Folk can call me what they like... Yes, I have fucked more then 5 girls. Yes, I have blackouted from drinking. Yes, I have done very stupid things in my life. But at the same time, I can admit my faults and embrace them... Im only human, and put my pants on, 1 leg at a time like your dumbass. Most people wont blame themselves, so they blame others. Most people live in denial. I am not better then anyone. But there is nothing wrong with thinking you are. Thats how you separate the winners in life from the losers. And I refuse to be a loser....

Hold on, time for some more push-ups...

But whateva... When I move, trust me... Im still gonna be an honest nigga and tell folk the truth when I meet them. There is a difference between lying and with-holding the truth. I cant tell everything right away, because I dont trust many. Its hard to trust when folk CONTINUE to fuck me over. I dont make excuses for my past, it is what it is. Yea, I fucked up some good shit. But its whateva, Im not gonna act like I dont care cuz I do. But I refuse to sit and dwell on shit... Im seriously happy that my ex has moved on, I was bitter for a while because I felt like she left at the beginning of trouble for me instead of ridin out like she claimed she would. But its all good... I dont need to know shit about her anymore beyond if she is still breathing or not. Congrats, if you ever read this. I would never wish bad on anyone. Do you, cuz I damn sure does me. Mattas fact, that goes for all my exes. There is a reason that they are exes, because they are not the one for me. There is 1 person for me. I dont know exactly when Ill meet her, if I havent already. But I hope God helps me open my eyes to her when the time is right... God please help me. I cant wait to get back right with the Lord. My life is crazy. I need calm.

"I look at alotta you cats and laugh/Cuz Im the shit, man and yall aint even passin gas" - Joell Ortiz, "Move On"

William H. Macy... blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

"I does what I does in shiny new dunks"...

Comparing love to being a sneakerhead...

Yeah... Yes... Of course. I want to be one of those people who line up early as fuck Saturday mornings for a pair of overly priced sneakers. Limited editions. Only 100 pairs were made of these in the world. And I got them at a discount for $350... But the more I think about it... Ive been doing just fine in my boots.

"Flyer then the rest of them, and still got my Nike boots"... Yeah, I know that song isnt completely about Nike boots. But I do dig that hook. Catchy. My boots have gotten me in trouble for big and little reasons. Yet, they have always been there for me. I cant help it. I fuckin love sneakers, when I have them, Im a completely different person. My walk and speech is different. With sneakers, comes romance and mushy shit. With my boots, comes an asshole and craziness. Some people act as if they want my sneakers until they realize its muddy outside and even though my sole isnt the cleanest, dont wanna take that risk. Maybe not to mess up my sneakers or better yet, their own. When I do cop sneakers, I dont go as hard as I should, and then I try to wait and see if the sneakers I want will make clearance. But a female's shoe, is different then that of a male's, usually. So while she sees mushy, I see I just dropped $350 at 4am on a Saturday morning in negative degree weather.

I hope that makes sense lol. I dont want to be a boot wearer for eternity. Its just that a female's shoe differs from that of a male's, usually. Which I believe, is like licking someone's asshole. That can be viewed in so many ways. A female can see it as just this dude is just into nasty sex. While the male can view it as a huge sign of his affection. And vice versa... The point Im trying to make is... While a good chunk of my life has been majorly about wearing boots, with time and thought, any and everybody can become a sneakerhead. Even certified bachelors... And mattas fact, even though becoming a sneakerhead can become dangerous. I want some sneakers.


Mariska Hargitay... blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

No more suicidal...

I took "The Daily Suicide" off of the title, because my pops walked by the screen yesterday and asked me... "You not still feelin like that are you?"... I replied, "Nah Pop, I cant leave yall like that. Thats just my blog"... Then we sat down and took shots of gin. I love my Pops. But still, lemme explain...

I dont know if I have told anyone about this ever. But still... Back in like the 8th grade, I had this english teacher, Mr. Morgano(best english teacher ever). He took my class to NYC for FREE. But beyond that, he made us keep a journal. My first signs of writing. And I remember, I was goin through a rough patch like usual it seems. My uncle died. My aunt died. And I was still thinkin about my grandpa being gone. I forget the other shit that was going on exactly. But still... I contiplated suicide. I actually was forced to see a counselor about it because my teacher read it in my journal and thought I was going to kill myself.

I actually did cut myself tho lol. But my punk ass didnt cut deep enough. Scar is still there. Its kinda my reminder that, no matter what happens... It still doesnt beat death. I stay smiling. I dont hold grudges. Because... I could be dead. Then who would yall be mad at constantly!? lol... Still, see... The best comedy comes from tragedy. I love that saying. Cant wait for that tattoo. Thats within the next months. Trust. That is one of my favorite sayings and I cant remember where I heard it first. I didnt come up with it. But I loveeeeeeee it. Prolly the only nigga you know with it tatted tho. Whatever... My life is a comical tragedy. Big ass train wreck, where nobody gets killed, just hurt like a muhfucka. And then later on, down the line, tellin their grandkids... They say "man, I was in a trainwreck a long time ago and everybody survived. And ever since that day, I have lived life differently."... Yeah... THATS MY LIFE! lol

Yo... So I started listenin to "Lost" by Gorilla Zoe again lol. I love this song. Damn I wish I could make music. My boo can sing, but I cant get her to sing to me. Ima get her tho lol. Yall wont know about it tho, cuz thats goin to be between us. But Ima get her...

Say it with me now...

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

She dont love me, she just love my doggystyle...

"Im jumpin out the window wit this one..." I FREAKING LOVE THIS SONG lol... Damn Ron Browz. I swore I hated this shit at first, but its MAD catchy. Especially once you get intoxicated lol. Man... I could probably listen to this shit all day.

I love Nicki Minaj, both as an artist and I think she is fine as shit. When I get rich, I want that. Speakin of me gettin rich... For some reason, I have had the very strong feeling of winning the lottery. 43 million to be exact. Only person Ive ever told that to was Dollface. Today I told my sister and Pop. Man, I got big plans when it happens. I literally have sat down and thought it out. Im cleanin up all my CLOSE friends credit. Then buyin them cars. I was goin buy a fleet of Range Rovers, but maybe everybody doesnt want one. So Ill ask first. Im donating 1 million to my church alone. And Im going to just work at the warehouse on saturdays. Openin up a slew of businesses around here. A bar, a bakery where my mom will be in complete control of. Like 2 or 3 restuarants, one for Pooh's mom, one for my mom, and prolly some crazy ass priced place that Im gonna call, "80 B"... In memory of my grandparents house where I was raised at 80 Bradburn. I went hard on that one lol. You like, dont front.

Im going to take a trip to Vegas or LA with 10 of my closest male friends... Then come back tanned, just to go on another trip to somewhere out the states with my closest female friends like Pooh, Rae, Delo, Sika, Dollface, Karla(for Rae lol), prolly Ki, if Pooh wants her there lol. And I cant think of any other females that I would want to go. Suggestions? Then, Im comin back to the Roc just to take yet another trip with just Dollface and me. Idk where we goin yet tho. Then after I come back hitched, Im goin on a shoppin spree in the city wit Pooh. Where Ill try my hardest to "run" into Nicki Minaj(if she is still relevant). Wait... The shoppin spree will have to come before the trip where I get hitched. Because once Im tied up, Im tied up. Plus... Nah... Pooh we cant go to the city. We goin have to go elsewhere lol. I jus remembered, I cant be around city girls. I loveeeeeeeee them. OMG. idk why. I just have always fancied a lady from the city, with their city accents and city sense of style. Speakin of "The City", that bitch Whitney is sexy as fuck lol. Id drink her bath water lmao. Anyway, back to the point...

Opening like 2 sneaker stores... One ran by Pooh, the other by Ace. Honestly, the two most knowledgable people I know about sneakers. I got more shit planned... I just dont feel like exposin my masterful plan beyond my trips and whips... Oh wait... The CARS! I almost forgot... Well, I dont want much ;p... Im payin off Ethel, and hookin her up. I always said, I want to keep my 1st car. So Im gonna do right by my baby. And then Im gonna buy a Range Rover, black and white. I can see it now. I havent really thought of anything beyond a Range lol. Well I have, but you'll just think Im disgusting lol. I saw Jeezy's new "My President" video, and I want that exact same Lambo. But thats after I start seeing revenue from businesses. Im fine with 2 V's for now. Plus, I want a house on a hill. Why? IDK lol. I just do. I want it at the top of the hill though and my driveway has to be like 60 yards. I want a flat way. Not one of those driveways where u gotta climb shit. Fuck that. Yo... fuck it lol.

I swear, thinking about shit like this helps me get through my day. I just wanna be able to help my family out at the end of the day. Provide for my kids, who dont exist yet. But they will someday. Make sure that everybody I love is straight when I am no more... Muhfuckas can call me an asshole all they like, I still have a big heart and just like my tattoo... Its family first.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

Im a beast...

So today... I started a new workout routine. I thought about how untoned my arms are, and if Im going to get them tatted up like there is no tomorrow... I think they should be more toned. There just big right now. And for a guy, there should be more. So, Ive decided that while at work. Im going to workout, on top of the labor I already do. Simply by doing push-ups at the end of each aisle. I took pictures today of how long the aisles are and the skids and the power jacks. Just so people know what Im talkin about. I just havent uploaded them yet. But yeah, since I just started, I do 5 push-ups for now after adding to my skid. I made it to 70 push-ups today. Im kinda excited about that. I figure by the summer, my body will be in much better shape then it is now. Plus if I lose weight, my wang looks bigger lmao. Even though I dont need it too, thats just somethin I heard would happen lol. I dont think Ill become a gym rat like E... My nigga is a completely different dude. I saw pics of him from last March and he has lost mad weight. I never realized he was that big.

Quotes of the week: "Wow, how u been baby? But Im sayin... Even though we probably only link up every now and then/Wit minimal convo, look its really good to see you friend/Somethin I realized and I dont even have to mention/Is whether or not, you got me, thats somethin I never question/Sometimes I feel the people I love, dont appreciate me/And some will hate ya, u see the shit I been goin through lately/See, you was here when the shit started to go hay-wire/You still here, walkin wit me, goin through the fire/And I really love ya for it, I kno u all relate to/On everythin that I believe, and I appreciate you/And just for that, it dont matta, u can put that on my name/The way you rep, u let me be there just for u the same/Sometimes the pressure and the pain , it be wearin me out/But I thank you just for bein there and hearin me out/I got a clearer view... I thank God that you been there for me, Im here for you..." - Busta Rhymes, "Decision"

"Blame it on who? Blame it on me/She drink til she sleep, and she drinkin all me/I live in her cup, I watch the ice sink/She sippin all night, on some shit thats light pink/You kno they say, you are what you drink/Well baby, I gotta be Louie the 13th/And I could talk to her, where nobody hear/I liquor so good, she dont go around beer/" - Lil Wayne, "Blame It(remix)"

On another note... I cant wait to go see "Notorious" tomorrow. Im not surprised my phone hasnt rang today. I was suprised by the conversations I had yesterday with two individuals I never thought I would speak to again. Weird. But whateva... Im outta 5000. Im horny as fuck.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...