How do I put this...?

"Seems like I always had crushes on chicks I couldnt have/And then I end up fuckin wit someone I shouldnt have/See in my mind, its like Im perfect for her, I gotta show her/But sadly, in reality, dawg I dont even kno her/But still somehow she got my mind infatuated/Absolutely fascinated/Wit the thoughts of what she might be like/Time after time after time, I had to wait this(?)/Is fate procrastinatin? I can take it, cuz I might be right/... This is the girl of my dreams/Is she as good as what she seems?/Or am I lyin to myself?/Aye, should I try and get some help?"

Real shit... I hate thinking about her lol. She's so secretive that Id never truly know whats goin on in her chrome dome. She stares at me when she thinks Im not looking. Either shes undressing me with her eyes, or thinking "why do I continue to mess wit this clown?"... I look at her wit amazement myself, like "why do we keep endin up like this?". Got every reason to stop fuckin wit me, yet wont. I foxx wit her tho, hardbody... Shes growing on me, a lot. She gets upset by comments on other women, but thats just me. Im still not really messin wit anybody else like that currently. Im not really lookin for love anymore. Cuz I flip-flop all the time. One day I wanna be in love, then the next I wanna be single. Blah... I do miss her tho. Kinda pissed we didnt get to knock boots this weekend while she was in town lol. Oh well... Guess Im back to holding out. She is the only person Im fuckin. "Fuck what you heard, its what you hearin"... The ONLY...

A bitch goin have to seduce the shit outta my single ass to get in these draws lol. Its not like I couldnt fuck someone else, I just choose not to... Sobriety has helped me realized that my drinking is a large portion of where my lustful-ness comes from... When Im sober, I could care less about meeting new potential mates. But when I drink, I just wanna fuck at the end of the night lol. I talk to one other female, who actually is in town. But we not fuckin. Shit, I barely have ever really hung out wit her outside of work lol. Shes fuckin awesome tho. It just wouldnt work. I find her very attractive, she jus WAY to busy for me. I dont mind a busy woman, cuz I dont want anybody 2 be in my face all the time. But shawty hotcakes, is TOO busy. My ego hates being ignored lol. Im the one that does the ignoring. And she iggs the shit outta me for days at a time lol. I stay doin shit myself, but I usually always have time to text. How you think I keep gettin damn near 3000+ sms msgs SENT a month? lol...

I hate trying to figure out whats goin on. So I assume that nothing is. She does what she does, and I do what I do. Oh yeah, this part is about someone completely different then the previous two. Mattas fact, Im not even gonna say much. There really isnt much to say. Regardless of how I may feel for any other woman, I will always be there for her. She'll always be, to me, whateva the hell she is to me lol. Jus kno she da fuckin best...

I still feel like this will somehow, someway, be takin way outta context by ppl. Which is why I really didnt wanna post this. But its my blog, and I only write whats on my mind and in my heart. Ppl often take one thing I say and find someway to get offended. Its like when a white person says "you people r the greatest", while referencing a group of "coloreds" and then one "colored" finds it offensive and responds "what the fuck you mean, 'YOU PEOPLE'!?". White person responds "huh, excuse me... I just said your the greatest"... "Colored" says "SO WHAT!? Im offended now... Fuckin racist!" lmao

My Darlin' Baby...

So as I download the new Kid Cudi... I decided to check out www.hotnewhiphop.com, and ran across a song called "My Darlin' Baby" by Lil Wayne & Drake... I dig it. Havent really blogged in a while. Got a lot goin on. Just havent felt like spillin my guts on the net. Been writin tho. I just feel like some of the shit isnt ready to be seen. If you write poems or anythin for that matter, you can prolly relate. I think Ill put up a preview lol. I wonder how many ppl actually read this shit anymore. Whateva. Sometimes its kinda disappointing when I think Im posting good shit, and get no comments lol. But its still whateva.

Remember, these r just snippets lol...

This is from "Pain Pill 2"... "Pain Pill 1" was my last post actually...

"Im not a player, just an opportunist/When it presents itself, I get ig'nit wit the opportune-bliss/So now we goin to the opera soon, miss/The fat lady, steadfast, singin through our break-up/Ya girlfriends comin 2 ya aid, bringin in the make-up/Beggin you to wake-up/I dont lift on the regular, but manage to stay cut/Both in the physical and mental/At times its hard to discern the physical shit I been through/Slowly slippin into a great depression/Growin more irate wit each suggestion/And it got me goin through a speech recession/"

This is from a poem I call "V3" aka "Ventilation 3" lol... Yeah, I write in parts lol. The other 2 r on in my facebook notes. I gotta transfer them to my notepad btw...

"The best comedy comes from tragedy, so I tend to laugh a lot/Im a work in progress, but a rough draft Im not/Been here a while, my story is bein wrote n pen/So my mistakes cant be erased, even when Im choked by sin/Ya hate is heard as gibberish, 2 me ur 1 of the Sims/The devil can wear prada, but I prefer my Timbs/No horns, no halo... Fuck it, Im just me/Old headed, young blood, no college degree/Proud? No... But it wont crush my pride/1 day success will find me, Im n no rush 2 hide/Wit such promise, Ive lived a life of 'misses'/Both on opportunities & bitches/Missed out on college, but fucked miss thang/Missed out on us bein 2gether, but still she sucked this wang/Comedy from tragedy, I frequent the L-O-L/Nah Im not the realest, but I spare no detail/"...

Mattas fact... I might just throw those two snippets into 1, and just add to it lol. Now that Ive put them on 1 page, they could kinda go together. What u think? If I decide to do that, Im jus gonna scrap both titles & think of somethin new lol. The rest of "V3", gets really in depth wit some of my past relations. It was originally written just for my eyes, hence the venting lol. They can read it when Im dead & someone finds my notes lol. What did 50 say, "When I die, they'll read this & say a genius wrote this" lol. Sleep on me then. I really should release a book of poetry. Maybe.

Its been a while... lol

"Pain Pill"

Always ready, Im G.I. Bro/An 80's Nike ad, ask Bo, cuz even he know/Year '86 to be exact/Cuz I just do it, free will, I dont kno how to act/A reckless wreckage, lil mama say Im a mess/But compared to any other shes had, she say Im the best/But publicly, she denies her love to the rest/With no "S" on my chest, I still call her my Lois/And you prolly will neva notice/How I used to feel like Superman trapped as Clark Kent/But somedays Im just trapped in the booth/Where did this tie come from? When Im still tapped in my youth/Days when I finally do step out to crime fight/Im neva interested in the lime-light/I jus wanna save Lois from that bottomless pit/Fast enough to the point she say, "Oh he done got him some shit"/Then she consider me her savior for the time being/Wantin me to follow her forever, but Lo, Im a blind being/Im only super when needed/And I swore that I pleaded/My case to you/That in order for me to stay in the face of you/I gotta keep on chasin you/Cuz once I got you in these super hands/Lois... Ima show you the true Superman/Newspapers glorify me, while tabloids spread my gospel/Highlight of my high-life, that I was bred to be un-hostile/But in reality, I got an appetite for destruction/Once my innocence was a victim to abduction/Through seduction/In rolled the crave for reproduction/Better yet, just conduction/Cuz Ive never re-produced/But when that kryptonite got me induced/I get re-introduced, to my B-side/Tried to cut it off, failed, then I re-tried/But I relapsed, fallin to my kneecaps/Lookin to the sky, askin the Lord why... Why oh why, cant I just get rid of I?/Cuz Id rather forfeit my life, then believe Im wrong for bein prideful/Even tho, its so fuckin delightful/Its actually insightful/A double-edged sword, I lost the best I ever had/To my friends, I say Im blessed, Im never mad/But in the back of my mind, I hear my conscience call/And it keep wonderin when Im jus let this nonsense fall/Got it all backwards, I love life, but lustin for love/Im jumpin out the window, no Browz, just a push and a shove/Everyday is a repeat, cuz the world is filled wit women to woo/But whats important, is what these women mean to you/When it comes to girls, Ive dished more blows then I take/I hit a homerun, but got injured as I dove to the plate/Why the fuck was I divin? Im only 22/Love is like communism, and I hate doin what plenty do...

Being Sexually Active...

First Im gonna do a test and see if this video actually uploads. Its not the funniest thing. Prolly not very funny. But my teeth look good as shit lol. Plus if this works, there will be much more videos...

Anywayz, moving on... Umm so recently, Ive been on some bullshit. Im not gonna get 2 much into it, becuz you neva know whose reading. So, I just feel like if your a straight male, and your 20+ having sex... You NEED to be eating pussy. Niggaz that dont eat pussy are pussies 2 me. I started late as shit with it, I wont lie. But I regret it. I LOVE pussy. Eating it is the best. Im a freak. If your a straight female, and your 20+ having sex... You NEED to just get over yourself and suck some dick. Cuz nowadays, if your fuckin with no suckin... You aint fuckin me. Oral sex is the best period... Thats why 69 is like the best of every world lol. Another thing, if your having sex and choose NOT to use a condom, please realize that your choice is your choice in that moment. But if you end up pregnant, in my eyes... Its not up 2 you anymore. Thats a LIFE in your/her belly. Unless the very unfortunate happens where u had sex against your will. But if your a willing participant, and you choose not 2 use protection... Dont come back 2 the mirror in the bathroom in 2 weeks, like "what the fuck!?"... I dont believe in abortion, if you didnt catch that. If you not ready to be a grown up, dont do the grown up... fuck that. I had more, but its 3am. Just left Elaine's pad wit Sika. Its crazy, cuz we didnt even have any convos about sex, but this shit was in my head the wholeeeeeeeee time I was over there lol. But I need sleep. Im makin grits in the morning lol.

Dead ass seriously

So Ive had this idea in my head for a few months now, just never enough guts lol. I wanna make a mixtape. Not just consisting of rap tho. Barely rap. Im not a rapper, jus a poet. If your one of the ppl that actually read my poetry, then you'll recognize some shit. Im jus gonna take some of my poems I feel should be vocalized and vocalize them lol. BUT I am going to write all new shit. Im just doin this shit for me, not for anybody else. Just me. Just Ry. I was gonna name it "Angels & Demons: My life of rhyme"... Corny? Its still a work in progress. Or just "Love, Life, Lustful"... I dont know lol. Fuck it, Ill jus name it "Working Title" lol. Of course, Ima have special guests on there. And I got a surprise for all who hear it lol.

Am I wrong?

Am I wrong for not wanting to hurt anyone? Am I wrong for not wanting to get hurt? Please, go right ahead and believe everything you may hear about me. I dont care. People talk about all the time, good or bad. But deep down in my heart, mind, body, and soul... My views on the world are on point. Girls have done me wrong... And I havent been any better. Im not perfect. Im not a saint. I believe in God, and I also do believe in true love. Ive never met God, but Ive ran across true love(or so I believe)... But nobody knows what the fuck true love is. Love is blind. Relationships get fucked up. My mans dated this girl for 5 years... 5 fuckin years. Since he was a senior in high school throughout college. His last fuckin semester, she wants to break up all of a sudden... Excuse me? What? This is old news now, but we talked about it again yesterday. Its just on my mind... How after 5 years, u finally build up enough courage to say you feel unappreciated? Fuck that... I have been single-ish for the last year or so... I loved my ex. Still have love for her, no lie. But us gettin back together, will NEVER happen. So Im over it. I feel as tho, the way things actually ended was fucked up. And then some newer shit dealing with her, is even more fucked up in my eyes. Everybody says that I did 2 little 2 late. But fuck that... I was still there. Yeah I did some fuck shit. But I was still there. I loved her. Then the next lady I was seriously involved with, I loved... Nah, love. Her. As far as Im concerned 2 me, shes the one that got away. FUCK what everybody says. We're so alike, yet so different. Its weird, but I love it. Im truly happy for her, and Ive said that numerous times. I feel like, if shes happy... Im happy. I wont start no trouble inside the waffle house lol. But if she needs me, Im there... I prolly really shouldnt even be writing this. But my blog is named "Say Whats Real" for a reason. I keep it real. I dont wanna get into ANY of my current events, because I feel I would jinx it. Im living and loving life right now, no note, no insurance. Just a phone bill and debt lol. Rent free is the way 2 be lol. But whateva... If you dislike what Im sayin, then unfollow me. If you love my real talk, stay tuned. I got some shit comin up soon. Promise. Mad drafts lol. Im bout 2 go rub it out then sleep then go to work lol. VA NEXT WEEK BABY!!!! 

I dont...

So... Maybe I jumped the gun a lil bit. After further thought, I dont want a relationship. Im still kinda immature in some aspects, and I REALLY REALLY dont want hurt anyone else. Nor get hurt by anyone else. Id rather just have companionship. Thats not to say that Im gonna still be out fuckin whoever. I havent had sex in a while, contrary to popular belief. I just want somebody thats gonna be there for me and Im there for them. I dont need anything official, because once things become official, things get hectic and crazy. I dont like hectic and crazy. Im a simple dude, in some ways. It doesnt take much to please me, but at the same time, it takes a lot 2 please me. I just want somebody thats gonna be there when I call, when Im horny, when whateva pops off. I dont plan my day out besides work. So after that, I usually have options of what is going to happen. I try to pick whateva I think I would have the most enjoyment out of. I have a freestyled styled lifestyle. I need someone that understands that. Cuz if she understands me, then Ill understand her. Im not a jealous dude. So ma, if Im doin me... Do you. But when I wanna do you, make sure you wanna do me. Thats not even from a sexual standpoint. Im not sayin I wanna be the boss of the companionship. But if u wanna spend time wit me, VOICE IT. Dont get mad cuz Im at the strip club or whateva again. Tell me, cuz Im willing to compromise. I dont feel like typing anymore, and I dont feel like drafting this... soooo... yea