YIKES!

Let me explain this first... Mattas fact, nah. Ill explain later. Ima let people jump to conclusions first. I have to go post a blog on my other blog as well at www.theniceguyvsthejerk.blogspot.com check it out... Show Pooh and me some love. And PLEASE dont hesistate to ask me or tell me how you feel about this one right here. I really dont fish for compliments much, but I just literally finished this and didnt let somebody go over it before posting it. I dont care either cuz its just some shit I was feeling. Like I said, Ima let yall jump to conclusions before I explain it. Anyway, hit me...

"Satire Poetry(More Then Likely)"
Nobody ever told me, be careful who you give your heart to/Cuz once you mean that L word, thats the minute that they start to/Set apart you/From dem otha muhfuckas, who done came and went/And cot damn man, its a shame Ive spent/A portion of my life/Lookin for endorsements and a wife/I been lookin for love in all the wrong places/And this fuckin liquor got me in all the wrong faces/But I cant place the blame, when I still race the game/Jus when I think Im winnin, I get caught up often/And then the game catches up, costin.../Me, the sweet taste of victor-ree/Im a captive of my own war, a classic P.O.W/So if ever we fell out, jus kno that it wasnt you/My inner demons fly back thru after each external battle/And damn theres no rain, but I stay sleepless in Seattle/But my version of Seattle is the 19th Ward/Excited when I meet a chick on the 1st, but by the 19th Im bored/So we reach the series finale, no return next season/Gone off air, not cuz of ratings, just network reasons/The dramedy that was us, had all the buzz durin the pilot/Had the producers so excited/But I got stage fright, and couldnt fight it/And I kno you dont like it/But its easier to jus walk away then right it/Im spilled milk, so please dont cry for me/And right now, I cant be as good as Id like to be/Cuz Lord knows, more then likely, I love you/And at this very moment, I prolly dont want anyone, but you/But once you turn around and leave/And Ive run outta tricks up my sleeve/Babygirl sweet cheeks, please believe/That Ima moan for you/Cuz more then likely, Ive shown to you/A piece of me, I kno that has grown on you/Not sexually, but Ima miss you next to me/For more then likely, jus about a month or two/Listenin to slow R&B, wit E&J and fuckin up a blunt or two/But my pride is thick, so nah, I wont run to you/Nor come to you/Cuz I kno you'll move on, soon-er then I will/Folk goin say "I fucked up", but Ima say "if i could tune her into how I feel"/And she see whats in my heart, rather then my actions/She wouldnt pick up and gather her attractions/Cuz then she'd notice my adaptions/No lie, at 1st I cant picture her bein the last forever/Plus how can I believe this goin last forever/When Ive failed in my past endeavors/I jus wanna broad-cast some letters/Grade school shit, ME+U equals us/Dont believe the haters, cuz me sayin "I love you" equals trust/And yeah I still might fuck up right then/Perfection takes time tho, stop lookin for the right men/When the right guy, might I... Say/Dare I, its just a scared I/Scared to try, scared of Ry/Cuz Im afraid to give you Ryan/I dont tear up, cuz Im afraid of cryin/Smile now, then cry later/So I smile for the public and scream "Hi Hater!"/But once they gone, Im more then likely wit some drink in me/Puffin this black, listenin to R&B/Holdin tears back, tryna forget who you are to me...

Wingman...

So Ive realized... Im the best wingman lol. Yo, I play the wingman so much that I gotta be the best at it. Cuz usually its some hot girl wit her big homegirl. And yall know by now... I DONT have a problem wit big girls, as long as they are cute or whateva. But thats besides the point... Really there is no point. Just kno that I play wingman alot with no intentions on getting a number. But for the most part, I do and the asshole who asked me to run interference, either ends up having sex with the girl while Im in the living room still chattin up the big girl. You have no idea how many times this has actually happened lol. It didnt happen tonight, but I just heard some shit about a wingman and threw me for a spin. Sorry...

Im keepin this short tonight... Omg... Im listening to this song by Sammie called "Unfaithful", and cot damn... Is all Im gonna say. Goodnight. Its now 2am. I have to be to work at 9.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion....

"Dark Knight" reference lol

I dont have a type as far as bodies go... Let that be known. I like 'em all. If women lacked personality, I would be a far worse person. Truthfully. So if Im with a woman, its not based on her body. Its her personality that has me comin around like that. Thats the sexiest thing about a woman to me. If she can make me laugh, make me smile when I see her just by standing there... Then I want her. Im an ass man, but Ive never messed around with a girl with small breasts. Truthfully. Nothing below a C for me... And face. I absolutely love the detail that God put into a woman's face. I think I think about other shit when it comes to a female. I can be easily turned off, but just as easily turned on. Im a complicated simpleton. I like my earlobe sucked on, but not the tongue in the ear shit. Yuck. I dont like my nipples kissed nor licked nor bit nor PINCHED. It feels weird. I like to please. Very much. I have one nickname that I still like, but it will remain a secret between my friend and I lol. Do the initials "M.E.", ring a bell??? ::smile:: lol. But whateva... Im in luv wit a stripper lmao. Yall have no idea what that really means... Which is why its so funny. I wish I could explain, but I cant. Not right now at least. Ive learned that sometimes, I just gotta keep some shit to myself. So like Batman did in "Dark Knight" when he kept a secret from Lucious Fox about the government contracts, "Im playin this one close to the chest"...

I dont tell lies, I may withhold the truth, just to avoid hurting someone or gettin myself hurt. But if you ask the question, I give you the honest answer. So I feel like if anybody is wondering something dealing with me, please hesistate to ask unless you want the truth. Like seriously... Only time I lie is when Im jokin around about somethin silly and Im tellin a silly story or whateva. Pooh said it best the other day... "He the type of dude that if he's NOT tellin you things, then you should worry"... I dont kno if that was word for word, but yeah... Im honest even when it doesnt benefit me. No point in tellin lies, boo boo. Cuz apparently when it comes to me, the truth always comes out sooner or later. So why wait? Im hungry now, wheres the snickers!?

Im done now... Off to work

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

So...Umm...I want a woman....... kinda

So lately I been vibin to this John Legend, "Evolver" cd... I love it. Right along with the Ryan Leslie. Keri Hilson cd is good too. But whateva... Anyway, being single has always been a love/hate thing with me. It has its ups and downs. You would think that if your single, you cant hurt anyones feelings... NOT the case. And I swear, I never meant to hurt anybody wit my bullshit.

Admittingly, I have done some very wrong things to the other sex. And Im man enough to note that and try to change my wrongs the next time around. I just want a woman, not a girl, thats woman enough to accept me and all my past endeavors. Just because I wasnt shit when you met me, doesnt mean its goin be the same later on down the line. Nobody knows what the future holds, so I cant make gurantees. I dont expect my woman to make gurantees either. All Im askin for is a woman who knows how to let go. Live and let go. Im not saying the women who Ive previously been involved with were not strong, but they didnt know how to drop shit. I dont like to argue. Life is too short to dwell on bullshit. Ima make more mistakes, I already know that. And Ima expect my woman to make mistakes also... But heres the big picture...

If I love you... Then I love you. If you are the woman that God chose for me to have accompany me through my dreams and the one meant to share my future with... Then Im with you all the way. Check my track record, when I say "I love you"... I mean it. They left me. I didnt leave them. I love and respect them still, but they left. Im not mad, becuz I feel like it just wasnt meant to be. I dont hold grudges. But this is also why I say I need a strong woman. Somebody who isnt goin to break easily. Cuz honestly, Ima put you through the trenches before I give you all of me. Sorry. But all I have in this world, once you might leave is myself. If I give you all of me, and then you leave me... What do I have now? A broken heart and a box of tissue? Fuck that. I have to protect me at the end of the day.

I havent met a woman who put me through the trenches before giving me her all. Women are clearly more emotional then men, and thats cool I respect that. But women also continue to fall into the same shit over and over because of their emotions. Lovin before love is actually there. And thats not directed to ANYONE. So please dont think so. Please, dont anyone take this personal. None of this is personal. Im just speakin my mind. But yeah... I say this all the time. If people realized that the person your involved with is just a WANT and not a NEED. This would flow easier. I dont need a woman. Not at all. I just want one. Because I feel Im ready for one. But Im also in it to win it. I want my next girl to be my last girl. No matter if I start dating her tomorrow, or next year or 4 years from now.

If I cant see a future with you, I will no longer make any attempts at anything other then sex or casually dating you. No longer will I "sell a bitch a dream", as Pooh says I do lol. Anyway, Im dead ass serious... I want a career relationship, one that I can enjoy doing everyday for the rest of my years. Not a dead end job relationship, where Im dreadin your face after 6 months and I jus want out but end up wasting a year or two, tryna find me....

Im filled with complex simplicity lol.

Back to "The Lion"

I fell off of bloggin for a minute as you can tell by the dates... But fuck it. A lot of shit has been goin on, that still Im not ready to open up about. But when I am, I will be honest and real about it. Otherwise, this whole "Say Whats Real" title just wont fit...

Anyway, Im a firm believer in, that I think the whole world of relationships would be a lot easier if people realized that they are just a want and NOT a need. Me personally, I dont NEED a girl. I just want one. God made us all perfectly capable of surviving alone. The only love you need is the love of your family and that of God. Because no love is greater. Soooooo with that being said...

Nobody ever came to me and said "be careful who you give your heart to"... Never told me, this is how you treat a lady. Never told me that, when you love somebody... You make it work... I grew up off of visuals. The niggas who I grew up with, whether family or friends was dogs. On tv, music, music videos... dogs. Im a product of my environment. I hate to admit it, but yo... Thats me. For now. I want to settle down, but my bite right now is stronger then the average. I love women. But I want to be with just one woman. Its just that in the back of my mind, I feel like Ima hurt the next girl up. And I DONT want that to happen. Becuz I want my next girl, to be my last girl then my wife then the mother of my children then live happily ever after.

God has blessed me to meet some AMAZING women. Mo and Dollface are at the top. Real talk. I love the shit outta those girls. But they have both moved on, and I promise you... I am so happy for them both. Im not a fighter, but I would be if they needed me to be. I have done wrong to a lot of women, and Ive been wronged. But its all gravy. I still smile everyday, even thru my stress. Im STRESSED out...

Umm I was gonna add more to this, but Im kinda sleepy. Plus Im bout to eat, yes its 3am. But so what? I was gonna go a lil more in, but whateva. I could jus draft this, but nah... So be it, right?

Love me or hate me... Ill talk more about this when Im sober.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

All type of feelings...

WOW... Umm I had a real ass talk via text with one of the most important people to ever enter my life yesterday... Mad random too. She came outta nowhere, and we ended up textin for hours. Im so proud of her. Honestly. She knows how I feel about her. We laid a couple of things out that have been waiting to be said for forever now...

Im listening to The-Dream's "Love vs Money" right now... My twin lol. This nigga even thinks like me lol. His whole cd is NOT about love, this nigga is straight sex lol... It may be that he's talkin about makin love, rather then just casual sex but its still some shit that I feel I would say. Even though Im a virgin lmao.

I met a nice young lady the other day, when I was on my bummy lookin shit. I dont know how this keeps happening. Im not trying to meet new people. Im really not. But I thought she looked familiar, turns out she wasnt. But we kept talkin, and then after 5 minutes or so, I just simply said "We have been talkin for 5 minutes now... And for some strange reason, you dont have my number yet"... She laughed and said "does that really work?" and I said "I dont know, you tell me... My number is 719-blah"... Now we're texting at this very moment. Im gonna delete her number tho, I just like to talk lol. So for now, since everybody else is sleep, Ill continue to entertain her.

Im going to be listening to that new Ryan Leslie prolly tomorrow. I havent burned a copy of it yet, but I did wit the Dream, and I dig this cd. Well Im leaving now... I was a lil sad before I started writing this, but now I feel a lil better. Im going through a lot(like usual), and it always tends to hit me at 1 time. Oh well... Ive rised from the ashes before, this will just be some more hills to climb. Love me.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

2:30 pt.2

Didnt feel like waiting lol. Plus Im goin out tonight, so I prolly wont touch the computer later... But whateva... Coo!

"2:30 pt.2(original ending)"
Its 3 now, she finally shows... Calls me, I answer to cryin/I say "whats wrong?"/She answers me, "Ryan..."/Then a pause, but I hear her still cryin/I go out, cuz I care 4 her, show her the real Ryan/I could be her Superman, but I dont see her as Lois Lane/So I hope he aint hit her, cuz Im not bout to go insane/She say he cheatin, and I think 2 myself, "Slim, u r too"/A nieve lil mama, I reply "we all do"/She gazed at me, tears in her eyes, then slapped me/Glasses fell off, and honestly right now, she only attract me/Knowin she crazy, I prep myself, hopin she attack me/But she only cried some more/I say "look at where u are. You cryin... But what for?"/Just keepin it real, or so I thought/Cuz she replied wit somethin that I knew, but so hard I fought/"Are you serious? I LOVE him, your just my dick in a bottle/And every night Im here, Im takin a chance like lotto/Yeah, you fuck good... But every night, your drunk/Its easy to leave, cuz he aint home either, but aint no fakin this funk/He the front of the ride, and Im sorry but Im breakin this trunk/Never again... Im not takin this junk/Gotta do whats best for me and my daughter/And he aint playin daddy, cuz thats her father"/I had no words... Speechless but not hurt/I been knew that things wouldnt work/A lil struck tho, by the words she spewed/Reality check, fuck that, it kinda hurt me dude/But I undadig where she comin from/Im a lost one ma, only hit her up when Im wantin some/But it takes two to tango, so I can neva dance alone/And fuck it, if u takin a chance, dont answer the phone...