Dead ass seriously

So Ive had this idea in my head for a few months now, just never enough guts lol. I wanna make a mixtape. Not just consisting of rap tho. Barely rap. Im not a rapper, jus a poet. If your one of the ppl that actually read my poetry, then you'll recognize some shit. Im jus gonna take some of my poems I feel should be vocalized and vocalize them lol. BUT I am going to write all new shit. Im just doin this shit for me, not for anybody else. Just me. Just Ry. I was gonna name it "Angels & Demons: My life of rhyme"... Corny? Its still a work in progress. Or just "Love, Life, Lustful"... I dont know lol. Fuck it, Ill jus name it "Working Title" lol. Of course, Ima have special guests on there. And I got a surprise for all who hear it lol.

Am I wrong?

Am I wrong for not wanting to hurt anyone? Am I wrong for not wanting to get hurt? Please, go right ahead and believe everything you may hear about me. I dont care. People talk about all the time, good or bad. But deep down in my heart, mind, body, and soul... My views on the world are on point. Girls have done me wrong... And I havent been any better. Im not perfect. Im not a saint. I believe in God, and I also do believe in true love. Ive never met God, but Ive ran across true love(or so I believe)... But nobody knows what the fuck true love is. Love is blind. Relationships get fucked up. My mans dated this girl for 5 years... 5 fuckin years. Since he was a senior in high school throughout college. His last fuckin semester, she wants to break up all of a sudden... Excuse me? What? This is old news now, but we talked about it again yesterday. Its just on my mind... How after 5 years, u finally build up enough courage to say you feel unappreciated? Fuck that... I have been single-ish for the last year or so... I loved my ex. Still have love for her, no lie. But us gettin back together, will NEVER happen. So Im over it. I feel as tho, the way things actually ended was fucked up. And then some newer shit dealing with her, is even more fucked up in my eyes. Everybody says that I did 2 little 2 late. But fuck that... I was still there. Yeah I did some fuck shit. But I was still there. I loved her. Then the next lady I was seriously involved with, I loved... Nah, love. Her. As far as Im concerned 2 me, shes the one that got away. FUCK what everybody says. We're so alike, yet so different. Its weird, but I love it. Im truly happy for her, and Ive said that numerous times. I feel like, if shes happy... Im happy. I wont start no trouble inside the waffle house lol. But if she needs me, Im there... I prolly really shouldnt even be writing this. But my blog is named "Say Whats Real" for a reason. I keep it real. I dont wanna get into ANY of my current events, because I feel I would jinx it. Im living and loving life right now, no note, no insurance. Just a phone bill and debt lol. Rent free is the way 2 be lol. But whateva... If you dislike what Im sayin, then unfollow me. If you love my real talk, stay tuned. I got some shit comin up soon. Promise. Mad drafts lol. Im bout 2 go rub it out then sleep then go to work lol. VA NEXT WEEK BABY!!!! 

I dont...

So... Maybe I jumped the gun a lil bit. After further thought, I dont want a relationship. Im still kinda immature in some aspects, and I REALLY REALLY dont want hurt anyone else. Nor get hurt by anyone else. Id rather just have companionship. Thats not to say that Im gonna still be out fuckin whoever. I havent had sex in a while, contrary to popular belief. I just want somebody thats gonna be there for me and Im there for them. I dont need anything official, because once things become official, things get hectic and crazy. I dont like hectic and crazy. Im a simple dude, in some ways. It doesnt take much to please me, but at the same time, it takes a lot 2 please me. I just want somebody thats gonna be there when I call, when Im horny, when whateva pops off. I dont plan my day out besides work. So after that, I usually have options of what is going to happen. I try to pick whateva I think I would have the most enjoyment out of. I have a freestyled styled lifestyle. I need someone that understands that. Cuz if she understands me, then Ill understand her. Im not a jealous dude. So ma, if Im doin me... Do you. But when I wanna do you, make sure you wanna do me. Thats not even from a sexual standpoint. Im not sayin I wanna be the boss of the companionship. But if u wanna spend time wit me, VOICE IT. Dont get mad cuz Im at the strip club or whateva again. Tell me, cuz Im willing to compromise. I dont feel like typing anymore, and I dont feel like drafting this... soooo... yea

YIKES!

Let me explain this first... Mattas fact, nah. Ill explain later. Ima let people jump to conclusions first. I have to go post a blog on my other blog as well at www.theniceguyvsthejerk.blogspot.com check it out... Show Pooh and me some love. And PLEASE dont hesistate to ask me or tell me how you feel about this one right here. I really dont fish for compliments much, but I just literally finished this and didnt let somebody go over it before posting it. I dont care either cuz its just some shit I was feeling. Like I said, Ima let yall jump to conclusions before I explain it. Anyway, hit me...

"Satire Poetry(More Then Likely)"
Nobody ever told me, be careful who you give your heart to/Cuz once you mean that L word, thats the minute that they start to/Set apart you/From dem otha muhfuckas, who done came and went/And cot damn man, its a shame Ive spent/A portion of my life/Lookin for endorsements and a wife/I been lookin for love in all the wrong places/And this fuckin liquor got me in all the wrong faces/But I cant place the blame, when I still race the game/Jus when I think Im winnin, I get caught up often/And then the game catches up, costin.../Me, the sweet taste of victor-ree/Im a captive of my own war, a classic P.O.W/So if ever we fell out, jus kno that it wasnt you/My inner demons fly back thru after each external battle/And damn theres no rain, but I stay sleepless in Seattle/But my version of Seattle is the 19th Ward/Excited when I meet a chick on the 1st, but by the 19th Im bored/So we reach the series finale, no return next season/Gone off air, not cuz of ratings, just network reasons/The dramedy that was us, had all the buzz durin the pilot/Had the producers so excited/But I got stage fright, and couldnt fight it/And I kno you dont like it/But its easier to jus walk away then right it/Im spilled milk, so please dont cry for me/And right now, I cant be as good as Id like to be/Cuz Lord knows, more then likely, I love you/And at this very moment, I prolly dont want anyone, but you/But once you turn around and leave/And Ive run outta tricks up my sleeve/Babygirl sweet cheeks, please believe/That Ima moan for you/Cuz more then likely, Ive shown to you/A piece of me, I kno that has grown on you/Not sexually, but Ima miss you next to me/For more then likely, jus about a month or two/Listenin to slow R&B, wit E&J and fuckin up a blunt or two/But my pride is thick, so nah, I wont run to you/Nor come to you/Cuz I kno you'll move on, soon-er then I will/Folk goin say "I fucked up", but Ima say "if i could tune her into how I feel"/And she see whats in my heart, rather then my actions/She wouldnt pick up and gather her attractions/Cuz then she'd notice my adaptions/No lie, at 1st I cant picture her bein the last forever/Plus how can I believe this goin last forever/When Ive failed in my past endeavors/I jus wanna broad-cast some letters/Grade school shit, ME+U equals us/Dont believe the haters, cuz me sayin "I love you" equals trust/And yeah I still might fuck up right then/Perfection takes time tho, stop lookin for the right men/When the right guy, might I... Say/Dare I, its just a scared I/Scared to try, scared of Ry/Cuz Im afraid to give you Ryan/I dont tear up, cuz Im afraid of cryin/Smile now, then cry later/So I smile for the public and scream "Hi Hater!"/But once they gone, Im more then likely wit some drink in me/Puffin this black, listenin to R&B/Holdin tears back, tryna forget who you are to me...

Wingman...

So Ive realized... Im the best wingman lol. Yo, I play the wingman so much that I gotta be the best at it. Cuz usually its some hot girl wit her big homegirl. And yall know by now... I DONT have a problem wit big girls, as long as they are cute or whateva. But thats besides the point... Really there is no point. Just kno that I play wingman alot with no intentions on getting a number. But for the most part, I do and the asshole who asked me to run interference, either ends up having sex with the girl while Im in the living room still chattin up the big girl. You have no idea how many times this has actually happened lol. It didnt happen tonight, but I just heard some shit about a wingman and threw me for a spin. Sorry...

Im keepin this short tonight... Omg... Im listening to this song by Sammie called "Unfaithful", and cot damn... Is all Im gonna say. Goodnight. Its now 2am. I have to be to work at 9.

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion....

"Dark Knight" reference lol

I dont have a type as far as bodies go... Let that be known. I like 'em all. If women lacked personality, I would be a far worse person. Truthfully. So if Im with a woman, its not based on her body. Its her personality that has me comin around like that. Thats the sexiest thing about a woman to me. If she can make me laugh, make me smile when I see her just by standing there... Then I want her. Im an ass man, but Ive never messed around with a girl with small breasts. Truthfully. Nothing below a C for me... And face. I absolutely love the detail that God put into a woman's face. I think I think about other shit when it comes to a female. I can be easily turned off, but just as easily turned on. Im a complicated simpleton. I like my earlobe sucked on, but not the tongue in the ear shit. Yuck. I dont like my nipples kissed nor licked nor bit nor PINCHED. It feels weird. I like to please. Very much. I have one nickname that I still like, but it will remain a secret between my friend and I lol. Do the initials "M.E.", ring a bell??? ::smile:: lol. But whateva... Im in luv wit a stripper lmao. Yall have no idea what that really means... Which is why its so funny. I wish I could explain, but I cant. Not right now at least. Ive learned that sometimes, I just gotta keep some shit to myself. So like Batman did in "Dark Knight" when he kept a secret from Lucious Fox about the government contracts, "Im playin this one close to the chest"...

I dont tell lies, I may withhold the truth, just to avoid hurting someone or gettin myself hurt. But if you ask the question, I give you the honest answer. So I feel like if anybody is wondering something dealing with me, please hesistate to ask unless you want the truth. Like seriously... Only time I lie is when Im jokin around about somethin silly and Im tellin a silly story or whateva. Pooh said it best the other day... "He the type of dude that if he's NOT tellin you things, then you should worry"... I dont kno if that was word for word, but yeah... Im honest even when it doesnt benefit me. No point in tellin lies, boo boo. Cuz apparently when it comes to me, the truth always comes out sooner or later. So why wait? Im hungry now, wheres the snickers!?

Im done now... Off to work

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...

So...Umm...I want a woman....... kinda

So lately I been vibin to this John Legend, "Evolver" cd... I love it. Right along with the Ryan Leslie. Keri Hilson cd is good too. But whateva... Anyway, being single has always been a love/hate thing with me. It has its ups and downs. You would think that if your single, you cant hurt anyones feelings... NOT the case. And I swear, I never meant to hurt anybody wit my bullshit.

Admittingly, I have done some very wrong things to the other sex. And Im man enough to note that and try to change my wrongs the next time around. I just want a woman, not a girl, thats woman enough to accept me and all my past endeavors. Just because I wasnt shit when you met me, doesnt mean its goin be the same later on down the line. Nobody knows what the future holds, so I cant make gurantees. I dont expect my woman to make gurantees either. All Im askin for is a woman who knows how to let go. Live and let go. Im not saying the women who Ive previously been involved with were not strong, but they didnt know how to drop shit. I dont like to argue. Life is too short to dwell on bullshit. Ima make more mistakes, I already know that. And Ima expect my woman to make mistakes also... But heres the big picture...

If I love you... Then I love you. If you are the woman that God chose for me to have accompany me through my dreams and the one meant to share my future with... Then Im with you all the way. Check my track record, when I say "I love you"... I mean it. They left me. I didnt leave them. I love and respect them still, but they left. Im not mad, becuz I feel like it just wasnt meant to be. I dont hold grudges. But this is also why I say I need a strong woman. Somebody who isnt goin to break easily. Cuz honestly, Ima put you through the trenches before I give you all of me. Sorry. But all I have in this world, once you might leave is myself. If I give you all of me, and then you leave me... What do I have now? A broken heart and a box of tissue? Fuck that. I have to protect me at the end of the day.

I havent met a woman who put me through the trenches before giving me her all. Women are clearly more emotional then men, and thats cool I respect that. But women also continue to fall into the same shit over and over because of their emotions. Lovin before love is actually there. And thats not directed to ANYONE. So please dont think so. Please, dont anyone take this personal. None of this is personal. Im just speakin my mind. But yeah... I say this all the time. If people realized that the person your involved with is just a WANT and not a NEED. This would flow easier. I dont need a woman. Not at all. I just want one. Because I feel Im ready for one. But Im also in it to win it. I want my next girl to be my last girl. No matter if I start dating her tomorrow, or next year or 4 years from now.

If I cant see a future with you, I will no longer make any attempts at anything other then sex or casually dating you. No longer will I "sell a bitch a dream", as Pooh says I do lol. Anyway, Im dead ass serious... I want a career relationship, one that I can enjoy doing everyday for the rest of my years. Not a dead end job relationship, where Im dreadin your face after 6 months and I jus want out but end up wasting a year or two, tryna find me....

Im filled with complex simplicity lol.