Attention deficit

... I tried. Or at least I feel as tho I tried. But the more I think of it, the more I want it. I really dont want to think about her anymore. But I cant help it. When I talk to any other girl to try and derail the attention my mind gives her... I realize how much I DONT want them to be around forever. Whereas with her... I want her. It literally pisses me off, becuz I dont want this. 1 side of me screams "been there, done that". The other says "take that leap"... Its weird. Cuz honestly, I feel as though she doesnt see what I see in her. And I kinda dont help anything by keeping things bottled up. Im not the open talk kinda dude. Im just not. I just keep 2 myself and let what ever happens, happen.