Just gettin started...

"Self-Destruction act 1"
Lately... Everyday is stuck in a somber mood, cuz Im naturally a drama dude but wit no drama removed, the hecticness of a direction miss got a nigga's navigation twirlin. Constantly hurlin, cuz Im sick off of wanderin, steadily Im ponderin. So its causin me to become distant, while off in the distance, is a future that ends wit no you plus me. Partly cuz I simply disgust me, and its too hard to get you to trust me. The chips are down? Fuck it then, they must be. Feelin like this is a repeat nightmare, cuz even though Im right there, shit just dont seem like its quite fair and excuse me if I might stare... But Im feelin unordinary, a rebel without a cause. My life bein recorded in fast forward without a pause. Fixed camera angle, Im proof that even God's work has flaws. I tip my hat, as I been trippin without a carry-on. Yet still somehow, I manage to carry on. Been down Satan's alley, minus God's oop. Life is a newscast and faithfully Ive looked for God's scoop. Critically acclaimed, famed prize winner. And while in His eyes Im a sinner. Askin for help has neva been my forte. Man of my own, so I tend to let my core play. Standin in the doorway, but my only earthquake doesnt arrive when the Earth break. It takes a toll on me, when anybody tries to take control of me. I break in then leave presents like my tush in a sleigh. Everytime Im close, I push 'em away. Green light, so I speed through fearin the red. Fast lane lifestyle, 6th sense but I aint hearin the dead. Instead, what I thee wed, are the same problems I, me fed... Source of my troubles lies in the mirror, my vision is blurred but the image is clearer. Im secretly in love with a woman, I cant be with. Gotta kill my demons 1st, but I dont think I can be swift. Especially when deep down, I know whats at stake. And its wrong of me to ask her to wait. I see her standin in the light at the end of my tunnel. Worked through cave-ins, jus to be open like the end of a funnel. Mixed drink, call us sex on the beach. Dangerously good times, but whats next in our reach? I get vexed, but dont flex what I preach. Ima leave Ethel on the side of the road, and hop in a cab. Pay off the cabby, and just ride into the sunset. Cuz maybe when the sun sets, and the moon shines, I can finally put away this expensive moonshine. And make love to the brightest star of my galaxy. While I step into reality outta this bizarre fantasy... Act 2: Issues deep rooted, but still a graphic show out. The attic of charismatic, against me theres no bout. But lack of competition, caused my view to be in high-defination. Or maybe it was jus the gettin high in repetition. But I deem my complexed addition, only added fuel to my already complexed vision...