First, last...

So while you distance yourself from me, I realize more and more why Im alone in the first place. I feel as though Im very authentic in my feelings towards people. Some way more then others. I dont care about many people, and its weird because the ones who I actually do care for only call when something is needed from me. But no longer will I be available. When it rains, it pours... And when Im up, seems like everybody benefits. When Im down, aint nobody around. So... Like I said before, Im learning to be content with being by just myself. Maybe its my fault in the first place, cuz I hate asking people for help for the most part. Every now and then, I suck up my pride and seek help. But the other times, I just keep my shit to myself. There lies the problem I guess. But blah... Pops always told me, "speak when your spoken to, come when your called"... So thats the shit Im on now. I dont have much to say anymore, so I dont want to call and waste anyone's time. Ill just wait until they call, my number hasnt changed. My address hasnt changed. Everybody knows I cant drive right now, so Im just in the house doing shit. I go to work, come home, workout inside the house, and go to sleep to do the same routine. Am I upset by that routine? Not at all... Anymore. Because it keeps me out of trouble and away from wishy washy characters. Saves me money. I havent gotten a haircut in weeks because aint nobody to impress. I dont give a fuck about girls. Just useless to me right now. My hand does the job. When I get my shit together, I might go fishing again. Until then, I have no need for a girlfriend. I used to want to have somebody to hold, but that feeling has subsided... Greatly. When Im ready for a girl, somebody will be there. Well, I gotta go do some more crunches before bed. Night...

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh went the lion...