... Im just one big ball of emotions right now. And i hate it. Ive been holding all these damn feelings inside. i hate being emotional. thats not me...
as i cried in the shower, the tears running down my face. "Hurricane" by 30 Seconds to Mars plays n the backround. i cry in safety, becuz all physical evidence of my hidden pain is washed away by running water. as i think about my father, how i wasnt by his side as he passed away in a hospital bed. how i never got to say goodbye. how he, the strongest man in the world to me, passed away the same way as the previous strongest man in the world to me... i dont question the strength of their hearts... i question myself, for not being able to do more. i feel as tho i wasnt there. and thats what hurts me the most... the fact that i was totally helpless to do anything... i cant finish this.
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*open arms*
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